How to Beat Your Older Brother (in the Super Bowl)

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

The 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh is set to take on his older brother John and the Baltimore Ravens in the Super Bowl. As a younger brother I have some suggestions for getting the edge.

1. Annoy (and Destroy). In an effort to get his attention, I'd barge in on his making out sessions, or prance around while he was doing home work destroying his concentration. I'd suggest Jim make countless calls to John during the two weeks leading up to the game, text him hourly and show up unexpectedly at his doorstep (with gifts for his kids) during the week. 

2. Complain to Parents. What younger brother doesn't complain to his parents about his older brother? Call Mom and Pop and tell them John isn't playing fair.  Maybe Mom will call John and tell him to play nice on Super Bowl Sunday. Edge to 49ers.

3. Lowered Expectations. Since younger brothers may have lesser expectations from their parents, have Jim explain to the media that just getting to the Super Bowl is enough.  "We've reached our goal."  Baltimore will let down.  49ers win.

4. Throw Tantrums. This sort of behavior never really worked as kids, but as adults it can gain sympathy if done in the right way.  I'm not sure what that way is.

5. Be Cuter. Jim is cuter.  49ers win by a cute 3 points.

6. Turn the Tables. Since older brothers are always giving advice, turn it around.  Give advice (most of it wrong)  to Baltimore.   "We just can't seem to stop an empty backfield formation.  Nothing we can do.  I hope John doesn't try that."

7. The Guilt Trip. Tell the press all the times John screwed you over growing up.  Grabbing the biggest piece of meat. Using all the hot water, etc.  "It just wasn't right." Demand an apology (or a win for the 49ers.).

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

THOMAS BUELL January 23, 2013 at 02:34 AM
EXCELLENT HUMOR !!!!!! ++++++++ & ON MY BIRTHDAY , A GOOD LAUGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


More »
Got a question? Something on your mind? Talk to your community, directly.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors.What's on your mind?What's on your mind?Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell somethingPost something
See more »